The One With Four Seasons In One Day

Off the back of their first win of the season, Stockport 4's made the short away trip over to Chorlton to face Broughton Park looking to make it back to back victories. With regular skipper Rich Grainger side lined with injury, it was left to Conor Osbiston to replace him as both skipper and scrum half. A rejigged team saw Dave Williams start on the flank whilst the midfield was comprised of back row Owen Houghton and scrum half Pedro Campbell.

With traffic seemingly causing an issue, players arrived in dribs and drabs just as the deluge came. This was not in reference to the outdoor weather but aimed at what is rapidly becoming a 4's trademark, the traditional spilling of the pre-match port. This time it was the turn of Felipe Morais to kick it all over the floor whilst at the same time (and in typical forward fashion) looking to blame whoever left it there in his way!! What followed was the world's worst warm up which was hampered by the weather along with several players having to return to the clubhouse of their match shirts after being told they would be going back in before the game!!

The game then started and it was Stockport immediately on to the front foot with a series of drives however it would appear we were playing Hot Potato as no one who actually caught the ball wanted to keep hold of it and the tried and tested skill of shit shovelling was in full flow. It was clear that Broughton Park had pace in their back three and a fly half who's first option was always to kick which almost resulted in their first try and possibly the best in-game player commentary in a rugby match. The ball was booted deep towards the Stockport try line and over the head of now retreating full back Kev 'Boyband' McCarthy who was doing his best to secure the ball. As we all know, a bouncing rugby ball can do strange things and as it hit the floor it bounced back towards McCarthy who stuck out a hand and palmed it into the grateful hands of the chasing home time winger accompanied by McCarthy shouting, "what the fuck am I doing?" Fortunately nothing came of this and the game was in the balance with probing carries from flanker Jim Hilliard and flanker turned centre Houghton who was blasting defensive holes wherever he went. After conceding a number of penalties, Stockport made the cardinal sin of turning their backs on the ball at which the Broughton Park scrum half saw his chance and scooted over for a converted try. Having seemingly not let this affect them, Stockport were back onto the attack with wave after wave of collisions which eventually saw Houghton over for a try converted by fly half Rhys Warhurst. Stockport were then awarded a penalty which was narrowly put wide by Warhurst and this saw the half to a close with the scores locked at 7-7.

The half time speech should have been conducted indoors as we noted Noah's ark float past such was the intensity of the rain however with confidence flowing Stockport were aware they were still in the game. Substitutions were made to freshen up the side and it was two of these changes that combined to take Stockport into the lead after a series of phases saw centre Keith Warhurst switch the play and find back row Dominic Alexander Waterhouse-Kern (DAWK to his mates and everyone else) go over for an unconverted try giving the visitors a slim 7-12 lead. Stockport had the advantage up front and from a series of drives, No.8 Ged Gurney managed to get over for a try that everyone but the referee saw and things worsened afterwards as Campbell found himself sent to the sin bin for carrying low into a tackle and clashing heads with the defender when in actual fact he was clearly using the defender to prevent himself from falling over. The home side were now onto the attack and were helped by Stockport going back to shit shovelling (DAWK) who then found himself in the bin for the latest of a string of team high tackles for which he paid the price. Broughton knocked over 2 penalties whilst at the other end Stockport went for the corner and spurned the penalty chance which would have given them the lead and ultimately the win. In as complete role reversal, Warhurst junior went full Warhurst senior on Warhurst senior lambasting him for not only kicking the ball away but kicking it out on the full and they then lost debutant Gareth Thomas with a dislocated finger which didn't help matters, however fellow debutant Mo Farah (no not that one) added his ballast and aggression to the ball carrying joining prop Callum Conneally who was a real powerhouse all day. Despite Stockport being back up to 15, they could not get the break they needed and the final whistle went given Broughton Park a narrow 13-12 victory.

MOTM deservedly went to Jim Hilliard who not only carried and tackled superbly but was excellent as a line out option despite it not being his regular role.

DOTD's (plural) went to DAWK for his yellow and shit shovelling along with Morais for his drop kicking of the bottle of port in the changing rooms.

Well done to all, a great game played in awful weather and to the victor goes the spoils.

AND......in other positive news the first team into the quarter finals were also the first team out of the quarter finals!!!!!!!!!