The One Where Rich Popped Home For A Shower

After the previous week's closely fought loss, Stockport 4's returned to Headlands Road to face off against current league leaders Eccles 4's at a very wet and windy home ground. With skipper (and clean fiend) Rich Grainger reinstalled at scrum half the game started, was played in and ended in a rainstorm which took nothing away from the spectacle that was produced.

Stockport clearly learnt nothing from the previous week and despite calls to start the game well, they were soon on the back foot and back peddling trying to repel wave after wave of Eccles attack. Despite manfully making tackle after tackle, penalties were soon creeping up and it was possibly a mark of respect that Eccles decided to take 3 points with their first kickable opportunity. Having registered a score, Eccles could clearly smell blood and were unrelenting which resulted in Stockport losing centre Jake Lloyd & full back Andy Albinson to injury, the latter being replaced by Myles Mason. The away side were soon over for their first try of the afternoon in the far corner meaning there was no touchline conversion and a further penalty gave them an 11-0 lead. Despite this Stockport managed to grow into the game with some attacking momentum of their own, with their scrum and line out dominant all afternoon. A solid carry from prop Llewelyn Coveney-Winter resulted in him leaving the field with blood pouring from a gashed eyebrow however a bit of touchline medical attention from paramedic Tom Mounkley (who was amazingly not on strike) soon sorted him out. He would have been replaced by Dominic Alexander Waterhouse-Kern (or DAWK as we know him) however having not realised there was a train strike and having paid £90 for a taxi from London to Manchester, he was still late and still changing our of his superhero costume and into his rugby kit which gave Mo Farah (not not THAT one) the opportunity for his 4th XV debut. With DAWK appearing from the clubhouse like Superman out of a phone box, we were back to contested scrums however the half then petered out with another Eccles attack coming to nothing leaving it close at 11-0 on the whistle.

Half time changes saw Grainger replace himself with Rhys Warhurst whilst Mel McCaughey and Keith Warhurst also entered the fray. With the wind and rain now behind them, Stockport spent most of the second half camped in the Eccles half but try as they might they could not register the much deserved score. With No.8 Lawrence Hiney to the fore with repeated carries and challenges to the line, it was surely only a matter of time before there was a score and there was......to Eccles courtesy of an interception pass thrown by Warhurst junior (and yes I have reminded him repeatedly) which was converted giving Eccles what some would say a slightly flattering 18-0 lead. The attitude was exemplary and suddenly there was a break from Superman, I mean DAWK which saw him outpacing the Eccles defence however it soon became clear his cape was trapped inside the caravan that he seemed to be towing and another opportunity was wasted. With every attempt made, Eccles managed to clear their lines however full back Mason was making rain soaked rugby look effortless with his exceptional positioning and rock solid handling. He repeatedly beat the first defender and constantly looked like the most dangerous Stockport threat. Stockport's persistence finally paid off as Hiney was rewarded for all of his hard work when he tapped and crashed over from a short range penalty which was converted by scrum half Conor Osbiston. Osbiston however has clearly been watching too much RWC as his next effort was a cross field kick attempting to find Kev 'Boyband' McCarthy when the forwards were hammering at the door and unfortunately, despite McCarthy's best efforts at looking like he had lost his car keys in a ballpool, the ball squirmed off the side line for another let off to Eccles. Time was now running out and when another Stockport attack faltered, the ref brought proceedings to a close leaving table topping Eccles to take a hard fought 18-7 win.

Special mentions to the forwards who were brilliant all game, especially Hiney but MOTM went to full back Myles Mason who look like the calm in the eye of the storm, both figuratively and literally. DOTD was given to Osbiston for his cross field kick leaving Rhys Warhurst wiping the stress off his brow after his interception pass.

Now at the end of a wet, windy and muddy game all you want is a nice warm shower.......usually at the club when you have played especially when you are the home captain. Upon returning to the changing rooms, captain Grainger thanked everyone for their efforts..... then announced he was just popping home for a shower and freshen up at which he scurried out of the door!!!!! Who does he think he is, Boyband McCarthy?????