The One Where Jimmy (well Emma) Had A Baby Boy

The mighty 3's commenced their league start to the New Year by making the short trip to Grove Lane to face Manchester Hawks who were sitting a couple of places below them in the table. The day started with skipper Jimmy Finnigan announcing that he was the proud father of a new baby boy which he also used as a poor excuse not to show up. Several other changes due to blatant poor commitment from Messrs Hussain, Heder, Holmwood and Pearson meant a midfield reshuffle consisting of stand-in skipper Keith Warhurst pairing up with the housewife's choice Craig Lee and Mark Shiel making his first 3's start of the season at hooker.

Playing into an slight incline but with the sun on their backs, Stockport started at a fierce pace and were soon threatening the Manchester line with the pack in dominant form. An early easy penalty shot was spurned in favour of an attacking line out and with the ball whizzed along the line, it left an easy 2 on 1 for Lee who put in wing Max Bailey only to see a blatant knock on from the last defender which would have surely led to the penalty try.....had it been seen by the ref who awarded the scrum to Manchester. Stockport were massive in the scrum all day and sent the home side pack into reverse which led to a further infringement from which full back Rick Morgan stepped up to open the scoring. From the restart, Stockport were straight back onto the offensive and the first of several surging runs from flanker Nathan Jackson saw more pressure applied and the ball was eventually recycled to No.8 Elliot Galloway who fought his way over for the first try of the game converted by Morgan. The scrum remained dominant and from this set piece, the pack marched towards the Manchester line leaving scrum half Jack Greatbatch with the easiest of tries as he picked and flopped over the line however Morgan's radar was off leaving the score at 15-0. Further tries would have followed however Warhurst senior could neither catch or pass which resulted in an early DOTD contender with barely 20 minutes played. With regular coach Rouban Birch now joined by new coach Bevan Rodd, the forwards clearly wanted to impress the dynamic duo and continued to make inroads into the home defence which lead to the marauding Irishman lock Mel McCaughey to crash over (more on him later though) which was improved by Morgan to take the score to 22-0. Following a usual family domestic during game time between the Warhurst boys, junior clearly decided the best way to play was not to give the ball to his dad so from a kick through it suddenly turned into a 3 way foot race between Warhurst, Lee and Bailey with Warhurst getting there first to dot down, again improved by Morgan and it was 29-0. With the half drawing to a close, further clinical play left acres of space across the pitch and Lee was able to score with Morgan tagging on the extras and at the interval it was a heathy 36-0 to Stockport.

The half time interval saw the introduction of wing Elliot Smith for Tommy Kirkham and the 'King of the Back Foot' Tom Mounkley for Daniel 'Dobby'Cockersmith who had weaved his magic with some spellbinding play in the first half (he once auditioned for Harry Potter as a kid apparently)

The second half began with Stockport's only restart which was soon brought back for a penalty after No.6 (yes you've guessed it, Tom Mounkley) was deemed to be in an offside position (in front of the kicker) albeit he vehemently denied this (despite the ref shouting No.6 you are in front and offside)!!! This was a minor blip as Stockport were over again after McCaughey shoulder barged his way over for his 2nd try however soon blotted his copy book by having the grace and touch of rampaging rhino as he opted for a quick TAP penalty but managed to tap it into the middle of next week and followed this up with a knock on. Suffice to say he was subbed off shortly afterwards by the demanding Birch and replaced with Dominic Alexander Waterhouse-Kern (or DAWK to this mates) whilst workhorse Galloway felt like cosying up to Birch and Rodd (#besties) and was replaced by Elliott Lee at No.8. Jack 'The Machine' Booth then set off on a break from the half way line and despite being caught managed to ground the ball however the ref was unsighted (due to distance) so decided not to award the try but not to worry as lock Chris Dodd then committed the cardinal sin of putting DAWK over for the next try however Morgan was off target again (the sun was in his eyes, poor lamb)!! There should have been a try for Morgan who hit an amazing line and was through and into space however yes you've guessed it, a forward pass put pay to that as well as 2 further scorching breaks from Booth with the latter leaving him injured like he had dropped his lumberjack axe on his leg. Dodd himself soon crashed over but having shouted at the top of his voice, "give me the fucking ball now" he really had no option but to score which was duly converted by Morgan leaving the score at 53-0. One final push saw the home side run ragged and the ball was moved wide where Elliott Smith was put over in the corner by Warhurst senior.........only for it to be ruled out for a forward pass and with that the ref blew his whistle to the end the game with a 53-0 victory to Stockport.

Numerous contenders for DOTD including Warhurst senior for his supposed forward passes, knock ons and general all round shitness as well as Mounkley for being offside after approximately 5 seconds of being on the pitch however when you take a quick tap, you actually need to a)be quick and b)keep hold of the ball so despite scoring 2 tries DOTD goes to Mel 'Maul Maul Maul' McCaughey (thanks for your timely intervention Mel).

MOTM could literally have been anyone of the 12 lads who played in the forwards including Jackson for his searing breaks, Galloway for his relentless workrate or Booth for just being awesome however for stepping in and stepping up when needed, adding some much needed ballast to the scrum, covering hooker and prop and hitting great arrows MOTM went to Mark Shiel.