The One Where Mel Joined Busted

Fresh from last week's away victory over table topping Glossop, the mighty 3's were again on their travels to Didsbury to face off against Toc H who were also coming off the back of an excellent away win over Eccles. With the weather casting doubt on the game, it went ahead as the only match played at the home club's venue with Stockport looking to remain undefeated. It was clear from the off (with the lack of Manc accents) that the home side had lent heavily on the local universities for reinforcements however who were we to complain with our Chinese import at 13??

Captain Jimmy Finnigan had stopped losing fluids from both ends to take his place at hooker whilst back row Ben Unwin made his 3rd XV debut in a largely unchanged side from the previous week. A minute's silence was impeccably observed before the game commenced with Finnigan opting to choose ends and receive the kick off.

Having fielded the resulting kick off, the ball was quickly shipped out to the backs and a flurry of rapid passes saw wing Duncan Heder over for the first score of the game, converted by full back Kitty-Rick Morgan. The resulting restart was unfortunately dropped by Finnigan and things went from bad to worse from the resulting scrum as the ball was moved out into midfield which saw centre Jason Holmwood racing up to put in one of his trademark hits. Unfortunately the only hit came from a sniper on the grassy knoll, turning Holmwood into a matador and waving through his opponent whilst he lay floundering on his arse like an upturned tortoise and soon the score was 7-7. Despite this slight setback, it was clear that the Stockport backs were here to play and from the next phase Holmwood redeemed himself as his double-pump pass (so he tells me) saw fellow centre Aaron Hussain scorch through off his shoulder to round the full back and put the visitors back into the lead 7-12. With a game strewn with penalties (specifically from the ever offside flanker Tom Mounkley) both sides struggled to get any kind of continuity and tempo which also wasn't helped by the game being refereed from scrum half by Keith Warhurst (according to the actual ref). However what Stockport did show for the whole game was a refusal to allow Didsbury to breach the defensive line with some exceptional tackling efforts, where putting bodies on the line for the cause was a massive understatement. We were even treated to the now famous Mel 'O'Mahoney' McCaughey's triumphant cries of "maul, maul" and with the visitors now able to start putting some phases together, the backs again worked their magic which this time saw wing Elliot Smith over for another Morgan converted try which seemed to be taking us into half time with a solid 19-7 lead. Now we all know that high tackles are the big thing that are rightly being clamped down on and having given a number of penalties away for this offence, it was only a matter of time before the card was brandished. What was surprising is that someone who is very vertically challenged would be the one to be the recipient of the yellow as flanker Daniel 'Delia' Cockersmith trudged off like a deflated souffle to end the first half of rugby with Stockport only having 14 men.

Much like the first half, Stockport began the second on the offensive and it wasn't long before Hedar was back on the scoresheet for an unconverted score pushing the visitors out to a 7-24 lead. With the scrums now uncontested, Stockport opted to take this as an attacking option which saw No.8 Chris Dodd burst from the base and crash over the line to ground the ball not once, but twice to make sure however the try was not given but a penalty was which saw McCaughey screaming for the ball. Being a strapping lock forward, the assumption was that he would force his way over however, having taken more sidesteps than someone on Strictly Come Dancing he apparently heard the feintest of shouts from Hussain and flung out the ball (not too sure it could be classed as a pass) which was falling at the feet of the centre who is infamous for his airswings (generally without connection). This time he connected and basically provided an unplanned kick-pass to Hedar who danced around the last defender to complete his hat trick. To be fair, I don't think anyone on the pitch could register what had just happened however Morgan gratefully converted to push Stockport out to a 7-31 lead.

With the team now restored to 15, the defence was again to the fore and it was from such heroics that the ball was turned over which only left for it to be cleared. With the ball rocketed to fly half Rhys Warhurst, he decided to become distracted by the fake crash ball line of Morgan and coupled this with his 25 yard run up to clear the ball he was charged down which saw the ball cannon back towards the try line. With substitute Dan Duggan easily getting to the ball first all that was required was for it to be grounded however he decided to be really, really nice and let the chasing Didsbury player get there first to record their 2nd converted score. Not content with 1 charge down, Warhurst junior decided to repeat the same trick however this time the ball fell to one of his own players and further damage was avoided (other than his breezing to the DOTD award). With the game now winding down to a close, Morgan slotted over an easy penalty goal and then Warhurst redeemed himself as his laser guided pass to Duggan.........was fortuitously collected by Hedar who burst through a tiring defence to register his 4th and the team's 6th try converted by Morgan leaving the final score at 14-41 to Stockport.

Special mentions to Tom Mounkley for repeatedly keeping the ref's attention off the rest of us as well as having a stand up row with Hussain in the middle of the game!!! Hussain himself would have been a worthy recipient of MOTM as well as Morgan who's defensive positioning and out of hand kicking was exceptional all game however you can't score 4 tries and not get MOTM (even if you hate playing on the wing) so the award goes to Duncan Hedar

No real outstanding candidates for DOTD however Cockersmith was lucky not to receive a 2nd yellow for petulant backchat whilst Morgan nearly blotted his copybook by kicking the ground as opposed to the ball (where have I seen that bit of skill before)?? Duggan could have been up there by running an excellent support line to an opposition player and allowing him to score however they say insanity is to keep repeating the same mistake hoping for a different outcome so the charge down king Rhys Warhurst takes the honours!!!