The One To Be Thankful For Graham's Virile Ballbag

Stockport 3's were finally back in action having not played a competitive game since 23rd September, which saw them travel to league opponents Aspull 3's in round 2 of the Cotton Traders Shield. Despite the heavy rain and strong winds, the game was played in perfect conditions.......for growing rice as we were playing on a paddy field (suitable for Aaron Hussain)!! Despite there being no Stockport 4th XV game, it was a struggle to put out a team and despite calling in many favours we still ended up with back row Elliot Galloway donning the 12 shirt. The upside to this was the return of 5 of last year's Colts along with a debut for prop Tom Rushton, joining his 'little' brother Joe in the front row (bet skipper Jimmy has never felt so safe)?

With no 2nd XV game for Aspull, they unsurprisingly managed to field 22 players whilst due to late arrivals and a poor attitude Stockport managed the world's worst warm up so things were not boding well. With the toss won, skipper Finnigan made an excellent decision to play uphill and into the wind in the first half and it was Stockport who were straight onto the front foot with powerful surges from Messrs Rushton and Rushton who were joined by Galloway in providing front foot ball. Unfortunately we were soon falling foul of the referee's whistle however what this gave us was the ability to win every scrum, theirs or ours with a powerful show of force from the off. The game ebbed and flowed as both teams felt each other out however it was Stockport who were to open the scoring after great hands saw centre Keith Warhurst feed wing Elliot Smith to record the first try. Despite having passed the ball to Smith, the Aspull centre decided that spear tackling Warhurst without the ball was perfectly acceptable (which it is in RL apparently) and fortunately the ref agreed with the explanation of "its his first game of union so I'll let him off!!" Now last time I watched RL there appeared to be the same view of spear/tip tackles as in union but you know what, how could he possibly know cos it was his first game and the rules are soooooooooooooo different around the tackle!! Anyway, full back Rick Morgan banged over the conversion and Stockport were 0-7 to the the good. Centre Galloway then had to diffuse a domestic incident between father and son at 10 & 12 which resulted in junior saying, "you come and play fucking 10 then!!" The away side continued to fall foul of the penalty count which presented a perfectly kickable penalty right in from of the posts however second row Mel McCaughey's raised and waving arms clearly obstructed the kicker's view as he struck the upright and the lead remained but not for long. More penalties conceded by Stockport allowed a quickly taken option from the Aspull scrum half who scooted over under the posts and we went into half time tied at 7-7 but only courtesy of Stockport scrum half Jack Greatbatch who managed to hold up an Aspull attacker over the line resulting in a goal line drop out.

The half time talk was easy and precise. More of the same and let's use the weather, the hill and the pitch. With Finnigan now having a breather after throwing up pre-game (I wasn't drinking last night lads, honest) Warhurst took the captaincy and his first decision was to ask Morgan to kick for goal. Quite an easy decision you think except Stockport were still inside their own half!!! With Aspull saying won't it be funny if he shanks this, Morgan hit an absolute screamer and extended the lead to 7-10. This soon became 7-17 after a great spell of play deep in the Aspull half saw replacement prop Llewellyn Coveney-Winter crash over for his first ever Stockport try which was converted by Morgan and things were starting to look good. Good became great as by this point Morgan and fly half Rhys Warhurst were continually pinning the home team back with some excellent tactical kicking and from this, a stolen ball saw back row Tom Mounkley crash over which was again improved by Morgan to take the score to 7-24 and a penalty from the same player saw it become 7-27. By this point, Graham 'Ballbag' Rushton had entered the fray to join his son's for the first time they had graced the pitch together and his first action was to bollock someone who wasn't his son and was only 5 years his junior (I was captain Graham, I'm allowed to talk to the ref)!!

To their credit, Aspull refused to go away and a string of missed tackles and a high tackle led to a penalty which they ran and managed to register their 2nd converted try of the game moving the score to 14-27. Not to be deterred, Stockport went back on the offensive and again more pressure was applied to the home side line from which Greatbatch managed to snipe over from close range, the conversion being inexplicably missed (he is human) by Morgan. Subs aplenty saw Galloway move back into the pack and then go off injured (always easier in the backs Elliot) which saw the return of Tom Rushton who's first impact was to completely smash the Aspull 15 (folded like a deck chair) and then set off on a carry. Further phases saw a perfectly executed cross field kick from Morgan which was imperiously collected by wing Ben Perry who fed inside to Rhys Warhurst. He was stopped short but from the resulting play Greatbatch was over for his 2nd, converted by Morgan pushing the score out to 14-39. With time now almost up, the last play of the game was Aspull's as they went over in the corner for a try brilliantly converted by one of their forwards to leave the final score at 21-39 and progression to round 3 in January.

Special mentions to Chris Dodd who put in an excellent first 40 despite the fact he had to leave at half time. Nathan Davies who agreed to drive over to Aspull having been due to play at Manchester. The pack in general who were brilliant all day and provided lots of go forward. Back row Elliot Galloway for agreeing to do what was needed and play in the centres. Lock Mel McCaughey who was the recepient of some decent shots but kept on trucking away. The Colts who all returned from uni to make sure we had a full team. Rick Morgan and his excellent kicking both from hand and at goal. Graham Rushton's ballbag for producing not 1 but 2 absolute beasts in Tom and Joe (it being Tom's first game for years) however MOTM went to Jack Greatbatch who not only scored 2 tries but was everywhere including holding up an Aspull try, spoiling rucks and tackling like a superhero.

Now then onto DOTD. Noticeable mentions for McCaughey who still hasn't learned to bend his back and was bounced onto his arse, Keith Warhurst for milking the arse out of a spear tackle cos he wanted a rest and skipper Finnigan for being sick pre-game. Dominic Alexander Waterhouse-Kern (DAWK to his mates) was also in contention along with Aaron Hussain just for not being available however despite being stood in touch the whole time and despite the rest of the team, the subs and the spectators shouting "leave it Tom", DOTD goes to Tom Mounkley who ignored all of this and caught the kick off that was sailing out to give Aspull an attacking line out!!!!